Our team of well-trained experts will figure out what are the best options for getting your life in a direction that you will be proud of, so you can stop playing the victim forever.
Skip to content. Facebook page opens in new window Twitter page opens in new window Instagram page opens in new window YouTube page opens in new window. Why do addicts play the victim? Here are the top 5 ways that addicts play the victim: 1. Self-pity in all its glory Poor me, poor me! Passive-aggressive behavior Passive aggression is defined as an indirect expression of hostility and destructiveness. Lying You get home from work and lie to your husband how bad your day was, just to have an excuse to open a bottle of wine?
Their constant need to be in control of their relationships, environment and situation leave others feeling as though they have no voice. When you recognize an addict is attempting to use power and control to manipulate you, you become empowered to detach from the behavior and respond appropriately. Splitting is a way for the addict to divide others and turn them against each other. Sometimes they cause rifts between parents in order to weaken the strength of them as a unit.
When your loved one uses splitting, be honest and open about it with everyone involved. Be clear about the facts and give everyone an opportunity to tell their side of the story.
Addicts know which buttons to push to make you feel guilty. Guilt trips leave others with feelings of guilt that are disproportionate to reality. The result is you experience more self-doubt, and may become submissive to the addict. One important step you can take to stop playing the guilt trip game is to be clear on your values. They need help. You need to be brave and face the issues head on. Stop prioritizing their addiction over the rest of your life. For more information on interventions and treatment in general, contact a treatment provider today.
After graduation, he decided to pursue his passion of writing and editing. All of the information on this page has been reviewed and verified by a certified addiction professional. David embarked on his journey into sobriety in June of , which led him to his current career path as a Certified Professional Addiction Recovery Coach in private practice in Greater Nashville.
David is also a public speaker and the author of two books. David is cohost of the weekly Positive Sobriety Podcast, as well as being a frequent contributor to various articles and recovery based materials. As a member of the National Association of Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselors NAADAC , David works closely with Nashville area treatment centers, nonprofit recovery organizations, and consulting with faith-based groups trying to bridge the gap between the recovery communities and faith-based organizations who wish to understand addiction.
Mallorca, Spain. View Center. Boston, MA. Canton, MA. Falmouth, MA. Baldwinville, MA. Bethlehem, CT. New Brunswick, NJ. Laurel, PA. Philadelphia, PA. Galloway, NJ. Milford, DE. Manipulation includes blurring the lines between real support and enablement.
People with addiction are often masters at controlling conversations, leaving you little room to respond thoughtfully. If you can practice active listening and get to the root of what the person is truly saying, you may be able to call out manipulative behavior when you hear it.
This can halt manipulative behavior while also reminding the person that you truly are invested in their well-being. There will be times when the only healthy option you have is to retreat and take time for yourself.
Consider seeing a therapist of your own or finding an emotional outlet to make sure you keep your own mental health a high priority. Lies and manipulation can quickly create codependency in a relationship.
Codependency is best addressed in therapy, but learning how to identify and avoid it can help you steer clear of manipulation. Sometimes, something as simple as saying no can help you avoid drug and alcohol addiction mind games. Just calmly say no, and end it at that.
The goal is to just say no. This goes back to the issue of enabling and codependence, but it is so common that it required its own tip. One of the cornerstones of manipulation is the empty promise. Request receipts. Simply ask for proof before accepting any promises at face value. Their manipulation may be invisible to them because they are being manipulated by their own brain. You may not be able to single-handedly convince your addicted loved one to enter a treatment program, but you can help guide them there with these four tips:.
Those with addiction distort facts to make their addiction look less severe. If you point out that they were high a lot in the past three months, they may brush it off by saying it was only a few times. Many people with addiction need to be shown the true extent of their condition before they accept treatment, and a list of objective facts can make them see their need for treatment.
Every person with addiction feels that in some way, the normal course of addiction does not apply to them. This sense of exceptionalism is the only way people can convince themselves their addiction is not enough of a problem to treat. Some examples of lies and manipulation tied to exceptionalism include:. By learning about the causes and effects of drug and alcohol addiction, you will quickly learn that the patterns of addiction do apply to everyone, and you can help your loved one see it too.
Regardless of your approach, remaining calm and reiterating your concern and support for the individual is essential if you want to break through to them. Getting someone with an addiction to talk about treatment options is not easy.
However, once you manage to break through the lies and manipulation, it may become possible to have a frank discussion. That discussion will be most productive if you have something to bring to the table.
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